The wife went out Saturday night to a niece's engagement party (shacked up for years, it was a cash grab) and got home after dawn while I was home drinking lemonade, coffee, 2% milk, and Long Island water. Today on a Sunday I've had a few beers - I don't have to get up to work for Monday.

This evening I get asked things by the bride.

She: "You won't grab the car keys to go anywhere tonight, like always, right?"

Me: "No, there was a fire at the place where I was entered into a dance contest and I still remember bad things happening when I was out drinking as a young man. I want to stay home with you."

She: "I can float you some twenties and call you a cab."

I hope you can cry with bust out laughing like I do. I'm going on 38 years with that busty blond teen-aged girl I married.

First off it wasnt a cash grab as she insisted no one give any cash or money. She does not need it as her Fiance owns a succesful buisness annd makes millions. Was just to get the families together. Was a good time and maybe ya should of gone as her god father pop.

I wasn't invited. I don't go where I'm not invited unless I get prodded in cuffs.

You were invited. But that aint your thing.